What is going on on our world right now?
That question could have many answers. As a pastor, my mind and heart goes to the base…sinful nature. But you know, not everyone is going to live according to the Bible or even a fragment of it. How can we live in this world and survive? Why can’t we believe what we believe and keep living that way and not fight others who don’t see our way. And even try to discriminate against another to try and stop them. Sinful nature is at the root. But the following I hope I can, at least, begin to help us deal with some of this. Of course a total surrender of our life to God and His ways would fix a lot of issues.
This is why conflicts exist… Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. ~Stephen Covey
I got a ton of RT’s (Retweets) and Favorites from that post. What does that say? To me it says we all know this is going on because it happens to us. But are we personally doing this; listening with the intent to reply instead of listening with the intent to understand?
Let’s talk about understanding and how powerful it is. The Bible speaks of the root word “Understand” over 300 times. I guess it is important to God that we know it.
Proverbs 1:5 A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsel:
To understand the why, what, where and how is very powerful in the fact that it helps us deal with people & situations much better.
We need to understand…human beings are unique creations. The Bible says we are created in His own image. We are unique. The law of genetics creates us. We have are shape, size, skin tone, hair & eye color, blood type, facial features are all in born or inherited.
The statement: You are a product of your environment. True or false?
Our environment is important in forming the kind of person we will become. The environment is forming us to what we will become in the future.
The question is: What kind if environment are you in? Positive or Negative? Godly or Ungodly?
Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.
Question: You are responsible for everything that happens? True or false?
You can’t be responsible for the idiot yelling and screaming in your face, but you are responsible for how you react to it. Emotions are the psychological vehicles by which we communicate and interrelate.
When wisdom entereth into thine heart, and knowledge is pleasant unto thy soul;
Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee: To deliver thee from the way of the evil man, from the man that speaketh forward things;
Proverbs 3:13 Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding.
In studying the area of relationships, one fact should immediately established. Love is NOT just emotion. It is an emotion based on a commitment. Love does not exist without a commitment.
The very marriage vows illustrate this concept. The vow is to honor, cherish, in sickness and in health, for better and for worse, for richer or poorer and to remain true to him/her so long as you both shall live.
Each step of commitment is present. The relationship is meant to complete each person. There are single people that survive on their own. But it is so much better when two are joined together as one. Emotionally men and women respond to situations and problems differently. They think differently. Women think with all compartments of their brain where men only think with one compartment at a time.
Men don’t have connectors between the sections of the brain, where as women do.
Women are more intuitive, more creative, more artistic, and more sensitive. Men are more spatial, concrete, compass oriented, and goal oriented. Men are hunters and women are campers.
Men, we know what we want. We go in, kill it, and drag it back to the cave. Women, love to camp; they have to look, smell, touch, and bless everyone along the way.
In the mall, women are campers. They have to stop and shop at this store and look at this rack of clothes or that shelf of stuff. They may be in there for two hours and walk out with nothing.
Men, we go in we know what we want. We know what store, what brand and what price. We go in buy and bag it, and head back to the car in 15 minutes.
In the bedroom, women are campers and men are hunters. They like that romance; candles, soft music, all the nice fluff stuff. They want to camp for a while.
Fact: Men if you don’t go camping, you aren’t going hunting. But you must have an understanding of this, or you will live in frustration.
Anger is a secondary emotion. There is always a primary emotion; depression, loneliness, frustration. When anger occurs we often get into the blame game.
It is a normal aspect of human nature to look for someone to blame when things go wrong. Without proper training, many people go through life never accepting personal responsibility. The only way to put a stop to the problem is for someone to begin to take responsibility for his or her own actions.
Many times anger results when a person thinks his personal rights have been violated. Some our personal rights:
The right to…
…have personal opinions
…decide who I associate with and who my friends are
…go where I want
…spend my money
…speak my mind
…to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Webster: A right is: something to which something has a just claim such as the power or privilege to which one is justly entitled.
Conflict results when one person, attempting to fulfill their personal rights, tries to override the personal rights of someone else.
If we will minimize our “rights,” we will minimize our “frustrations.” We cannot bend to sin, but if it isn’t sin, then maybe its not worth the struggle. If its merely a matter of opinion, then it is up to us to “release our rights” and endeavor to “understand.”
Our personal entitlements are usually not worth losing family members and friends over. God expects us to love our neighbor as ourselves. When we achieve this level of understanding, we will find ourselves at greater peace.